My man doesn’t trust the bank with money

July 22, 2021

Dear Pastor,

I am 30 and I am living with a man who is 51. He has been very helpful to me. He has his own house and that is what attracted me to live with him because I have two children for two different men. These men used to take advantage of me. One of them used to hit me whenever we had a disagreement. My current man is a farmer.

He lives a very quiet life but women have used him and tricked him. When I met him I asked him if he has savings and he said yes but he doesn't deal with banks. He is very close to his mother. He goes to see her every day. He does his farming and he grows ganja also. One day I wanted some money to go to the doctor and he told me that he would go to his mother for it. I told him I would go with him but he told me no. When he came back he gave me $50,000 so I got the impression that his mother kept his money for him. I asked him if his mother is his banker and he told me she knows where his money is. Then he said that he did not like my line of questioning because a former lover stole money from him and he had to throw her out of his house. This man had an old car in his yard and he used to put his money in a container and place it in the car. When he went to the field she went to the car and found over $300,000 there. She took over $200,000 but the man later realised the money was gone. He questioned her and found out that she was giving him bun with a man to whom she gave the money. So he asked her to leave. She begged him for another chance and she promised to repay him but he has only received $20,000. He still does not believe in putting his money in the bank so he has another place in the home where he keeps money and his mother keeps the rest. This man treats my children well. He is the best man I have ever had. He does not believe in marriage. I raised that matter with him and he said if I want to get married I should get another man. I started to attend church and he likes that but he told me not to make any pastor man come into his house to talk to him because his mother has a pastor and if he wants a pastor to talk to him he will talk to that one. He said his old girlfriend has caused him not to trust women any more. I am looking for your advice.


Dear T.N.,

I am glad to hear that this man is taking good care of you. However, it is unfortunate that at his age he does not believe in financial institutions. Evidently, he doesn't trust anybody apart from his mother but he has done well because he has his own home and evidently he is not in debt. Perhaps dealing in ganja has been profitable for him. I hope that this woman who took his money and gave it to her lover will repay this hard-working man. She is a very wicked woman. You are very fortunate to have a man who is not only taking care of you but also supporting your children. I hope your children will continue to appreciate him. This man has told you that he doesn't believe in marriage so now you know that it is either you continue to live with him or leave him if you want to get married. Don't try to pressure him. You will have to decide whether it's the man or the marriage. His last woman was not faithful. Perhaps if you continue being faithful you can lead him by a thread. I suggest that whatever he gives you for yourself, you should take some to the bank, and occasionally tell him how much you have in your account. He would love that. I encourage you to take care of this man, but at the same time don't get mixed up in his ganja business. Take good care of yourself.


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