I want my wedding to be done for free

January 14, 2021

Dear Pastor,

I enjoy reading your column. I just need a little advice from you. I am 23 years old and I am engaged to be married. But my boyfriend is not working. Every time we get a little money, something comes up and he spends it. I want to have a small wedding. My boyfriend comes from a large family, so he would like a large wedding. We went to see the pastor of a church, but it is costing too much. Why should a church charge folks to get them married? These things should be done for free by the Church. My boyfriend is 25 years old. Make sure you answer this letter, Pastor.


Dear L.P.,

I am saddened by your letter. You write as a person who seems very ignorant about life. I must remind you that nothing in life is for free. One may say that salvation is the only thing that man can receive for free. However, it cost the Saviour His life on Calvary. But seriously, whatever a person receives in life for free, someone has paid for it. You are fortunate to have met this wonderful man and both of you are now engaged to be married; congratulations. If both of you are members of a church and in good standing, I would doubt that you would have to pay for your wedding. But if you had to pay, it would not be much. But answer me this question: as we think together, who would prepare the church for the ceremony, including cleaning the sanctuary, purchasing the toiletries and sanitising the facility? Who would pay the wardens to open and close the church?

If you do not wish to pay for anything because you believe that everything you get at the church you should get for free, then that should not be a problem. You should go to the Registrar General's Department and make arrangements to be married there. You would be shocked to know that they will not do it there for free. Let me be frank with you. You need to be ashamed of yourself to believe that pastors should do everything for free. They have their responsibilities, and it costs them a whole lot to carry out their daily duties. Plus, your wedding has nothing to do with tithes and offering. If a man and his woman would not even be willing to pay for their wedding, they are starting out on the wrong footing. Be wise, you have to learn to pay your way.

You should not be mean, neither should your spouse be mean. Learn to pay your way in life. And if you don't understand how the Church work goes, ask questions or learn to keep quiet.


Other Tell Me Pastor Stories