Couples should compromise on sex

July 23, 2020

Dear Pastor,

I do believe it is possible for a man to rape his wife on certain terms. It can be that they are not on good terms and the man still wants to have sex even without trying to resolve matters.

It can be that the woman is ill and her body will not allow her to have sex, and her husband, who is not considerate, may force her against her will.

Let me add, if a husband really needs sex, his wife should not turn him down because she may be feeling tired, and his wife should not stop him when she feels satisfied.

The Bible says, " Let the wife give unto her husband due benevolence". There is need for compromise and sacrifice.


Dear S.,

What is important in all relationships is self-control. A man should not insist that he should have his own way and that when it comes to the matter of sex, or when he wants to have sex, the woman should comply.

Anyone who takes that position is wrong. A man should exercise self-control.

Why should a man believe that his wife should always be willing to have sex with him whenever he asks for it? And why should a wife believe that a man will be fast on the draw when she touches him?

If he is tired, he should be able to tell his wife to sleep and make love that night, or early in the morning before they head out for work. In fact, some women say that they really enjoy having sex before going out to work.

When couples communicate well, their sex lives improve. It is not one spouse saying, 'This is what I want and I must have it'. They have to learn to prefer each other and to put the feelings of their spouse above their senseless attitude.

While sex is a vital part of the union, things like companionship and compassion play a vital role in marriage.


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