My man won't let me sleep over

Dear Pastor,

I am 41 years old and I have never been married. I have four children. The oldest one is a girl, and she will be getting married soon. I have this man in my life. He is divorced and is 62 years old. Whenever I go to see him, he doesn't allow me to sleep over. I have to leave. Sometimes I want to sleep over, but he does not allow me to because he says that he does not want his helper to know that I am sleeping with him.

I have a car, but he does not have any. I drive and park right in front of his house. His neighbours see my car, and they know that he has a visitor. So I asked him, if they know that he has a visitor, why can't his helper come and see me there? What is he hiding?

This man did not buy my car for me, but I almost lost the car when I ran into difficulty in making my payments. He paid off what I owed. I am happy and grateful to him. But, I would like for us to get married. He said he is not getting married again. I asked him who would take care of him when he gets older, and he said he will go and live with either his son or his daughter. I don't know what to do again to let him know that he is the only man in my life. He doesn't talk about it, but it seems as if his children's mother did him something bad.

DON'T OWN A HOME

All I have to do is to say what I need and he provides it for me. He used to live in America, but now he is living in Jamaica and he gets his pension. What is the secret to get this man to marry me, I need to know. I don't have a home of my own. I am still renting.

L.W.

Dear L.W.,

This man has not lied to you. He considers you as his woman, but he has no intention of marrying you. And if you do not like this type of relationship, you should move on. He does not want you to sleep at his house. He has his reason for not wanting you to be there. He knows the type of helper he has. He knows that she would not keep her mouth shut if she knows that you are sleeping with him.

He might not be telling you the full truth about the helper. He might be having a sexual relationship with her, too. So for her to come and find you at the house, it would cause problems between them. She might even challenge you too.

Don't push this man. He may just tell you not to come back to see him. I would say that you are fortunate to get so much out of him. Unless he volunteers the information about his ex-wife, don't question him about her. And, please, don't give him the impression that your desire to marry him is because you want to get his house.

Pastor